No awkward lesbian experiences without me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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