What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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