RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ketchup is God's man juice
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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