I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
