a queef is a wish your heart makes.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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