Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
