plz talk dirty to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
