if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
