I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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