Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
