I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
