Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
