Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
