Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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