we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
two words: eviction party
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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