'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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