i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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