fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
