Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
