do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
