remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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