it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
