I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
