i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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