Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
