If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
