that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
