I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
