Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
