Fuck appropriateness.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need to calm my uterus...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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