Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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