is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
