what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
