mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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