i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize