She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
