Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize