Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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