Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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