I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
