I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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