is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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