McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My feet surprised me
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