did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
