Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
