No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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