oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
