it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
