did you get engaged???
Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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