look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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