why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Randomize
