We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
