Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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