Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
