Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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