I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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