FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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