me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
