i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
