separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
