I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
