I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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