I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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