I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
