You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
